SALT LAKE CITY – As flooding threatens once-desert areas due to record precipitation throughout the 2022-2023 winter season, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is attempting to do its part to prevent what could be catastrophic flooding damage throughout multiple states.
“On behalf of the Intermountain West Water Management Council as well as our faithful members living in potential flood areas, please, no more prayers for moisture. Enough is enough!” a Church spokesperson pleaded during a press conference from what was once a dry area of the Great Salt Lake. “If we don’t stop praying, we will be going to church on Sundays in rafts and kayaks.”
Since last fall, areas of Utah, California, and Idaho are well above 100% of their snowpack levels. Some areas have even passed 300% of their average snowpack levels. All of these areas are densely populated with members of the Church, and church buildings.
“Where we stand now used to be a dry area of the Great Salt Lake. Water now gently laps the shore here and hasn’t done so since Brother Brigham Young entered this beautiful valley. Brigham once said, ‘This is the place.’ and he was correct. This is just not the place for this much moisture. We are not a rainforest.”
As large amounts of snow began to fall in these areas, some of that snow was attributed to the prayers of the faithful members of the church. Even small children recently learned words like, “moisture” and “precipitation” as are commonly used by members of the church in their prayers.
After snowfall levels broke records previously set in Utah, church leaders have sent out directives to members via church leadership in several areas to prepare for flooding. These instructions include the preparation of sandbags, preparing emergency documents, devising evacuation plans, and purchasing inflatable rafts.
“Your prayers have worked, now, let’s hold off for now until the moisture is needed again this summer.” the church spokesperson said to a small gathering of reporters. “Only time will tell if we are able to now use our faith to slow the flow from Heaven and extend cool temperatures into spring to ease risks of flooding. We appreciate your faith and look forward to watching how your faith will help impacted areas through this Spring.”
At the time of the release of this news report, the weather forecast indicated additional snowfall on its way to Utah from the west bringing more rain or snow on Monday and Tuesday.