SALT LAKE CITY – An unprecedented new policy has been put into place by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, abolishing a standing cultural practice that has been in place for nearly 200 years.
The Elders Quorum will no longer be responsible for setting up and taking down chairs throughout church meetinghouses worldwide – it will now be handled by the Relief Society organization. Russell M. Nelson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has made several changes since becoming president of the church in 2018, but nobody could have anticipated this change.
“As an evolving church, we can no longer accept off-centered aisles, crooked rows, and mismatched chairs. It is just not the standard we’re striving for. We can do better – we must do better,” said Brother Sillas, Manager of Physical Facilities for the Church. “We hope not to offend the brethren of the church by any means, but simply put, it is time for a change.”
Historically, the Elders Quorums of the Church have been in charge of setting up folding chairs prior to religious meetings including Sunday worship services, funerals, firesides, sake conferences, and other meetings held in church buildings. Recently, members and visitors have noticed seemingly inconsequential arrangements of metal folding chairs throughout the rooms of church meetinghouses such as irregular spacing between rows, sometimes single aisles, sometimes double, rows at angles pointing towards podiums, and sometimes parallel with walls. It appears Church leadership wants to part ways with the inconsistencies.
“We know the good women of the church will rise to this challenge. We believe in you. We know that your instincts will come into play and our meetinghouses will have equally spaced rows, perfectly centered aisles, and matching chairs. All will be in order,” Brother Sillas continued. “Elders, please take no offense to this change. We are preparing new responsibilities that fit your talents more appropriately. We are considering using you for our lawn care and vehicle services.”
Rumors started stirring that the Relief Society would make it a priority to change out hard metal chairs for the padded chairs are currently only found in Relief Society rooms. Only time will tell.