This isn’t meant to be a comfortable conversation. So if you’re not in a place to face some potentially hard truths, feel free to click away. That’s totally okay.
But you should also know—we’re not here to shame you or leave you so discouraged that you feel unable to act. In fact, it’s the opposite. Ministering is about action. Personal, courageous, Spirit-filled action. Consider these words from Michelle D. Craig:
“Each of us, if we are honest, feels a gap between where and who we are, and where and who we want to become. We yearn for greater personal capacity. We have these feelings because we are daughters and sons of God, born with the Light of Christ yet living in a fallen world. These feelings are God-given and create an urgency to act. We should welcome feelings of divine discontent that call us to a higher way.”
We all fall somewhere along a spectrum when it comes to ministering. Many faithful, dedicated disciples are thriving. But many others struggle—and sometimes we just need a little clarity. If you find yourself falling short in your ministering efforts and want to better understand why, consider the following ideas and how to overcome them.
You’re Selfish
When we think of selfishness, we often picture someone hoarding goodies, dismissing others, or ignoring those in distress. But selfishness—especially among good, well-meaning Latter-day Saints—is usually more subtle. It shows up in overloaded schedules, narrow focus, and an often unconscious attachment to comfort.
Because of it, we might choose to stay in our comfort zones rather than step into discomfort for someone else’s sake. We may prioritize our own routines over making time for others. We may settle for good and better instead of choosing what’s best. We may think more about what we want to say than what others need to share. We might not follow up, text back, or reach out.
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland reminds us that, “True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves. That is Christ’s great atoning example for us, and it ought to be more evident in the kindness we show, the respect we give, and the selflessness and courtesy we employ in our personal relationships.”
When we make a sincere effort to put others first—especially those we’ve been assigned to minister to—we invite more time, energy, and divine help into our lives to serve meaningfully.
Three small ways to overcome selfishness:
- Say prayers focused only on others’ needs.
- Do something you’re not interested in, but your ministering friends enjoy.
- Try to complete one small act of service each day.
You’re Scared
Reaching out can be intimidating. Fear isn’t always dramatic—it can look like mild anxiety about talking to someone unfamiliar or worry about saying the wrong thing. You might fear that ministering will require more of you than you’re ready to give, or even bring pain.
Elder Enzio F. Busche once said, “The pain of sacrifice lasts only one moment. It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it.”
Strengthen your confidence by serving with boldness. Act on promptings without delay. Rely on the power of Jesus Christ to manage your emotions and overcome hesitation. The more consistently you act, the less fearful you’ll feel.
Three small ways to overcome fear:
- Ask yourself: Am I more afraid of what others think—or what God thinks?
- Act immediately on any prompting to do good, big or small.
- Reach out to your ministering friends right now and ask how they’re doing.
You’re Forgetting the Spirit
Ministering, as President Russell M. Nelson described it, is “a newer, holier approach.” Gone are rigid visits and rote messages. We’ve been invited to minister with inspiration. There are endless ways to show up—but it can be overwhelming. Should you visit? Drop off a treat? Write a note? What does sincere, natural service look like for someone you’ve been assigned?
To navigate that, you need the Spirit. It’s essential. But fear and selfishness can cloud our ability to receive inspiration. If you want to minister more effectively, the Spirit must be your guide from start to finish.
Three small ways to remember the Spirit when ministering:
- Ask: Am I focused on how I want to serve—or how my friend needs to be served?
- Pray daily for those you minister to.
- Visit and ask how they prefer to be ministered to.
At the end of the day, everyone’s ministering journey is different. What works for one person may not work for another. But if we start with a sincere desire to be better shepherds for God’s children, we’ll find joy, growth, and divine support in the process.
What’s one creative or meaningful way you’ve successfully ministered to someone? Share your ideas in the comments to help inspire others to act with more love and courage.
Aleah is a graduate of Southern Virginia University, where she studied English, Creative Writing, and Dance. She now works full time as a marketing and product manager, writer, and editor. She currently hosts the podcast “Single to the Glory” about singlehood in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Aleah served a mission in California and loves baking, Lang Leav poetry, Gaynor Minden pointe shoes, and Bollywood movies.
