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Building a Safe Relationship: Special FHE for Newlyweds & Couples

Building a Safe Relationship: Special FHE for Newlyweds & Couples

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Scripture

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

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Hymn

The Lord Be with Us, Hymn #161

1. The Lord be with us as we walk
Along our homeward road.
In silent thought or friendly talk,
Our hearts be near to God.
In silent thought or friendly talk,
Our hearts be near to God.

2. The Lord be with us till the night
Enfold our day of rest,
And be in ev’ry heart the light,
In ev’ry home the guest.
And be in ev’ry heart the light,
In ev’ry home the guest.

3. The Lord be with us thru the hours
Of slumber calm and deep,
Protect our homes, renew our pow’rs,
And guard us as we sleep.
Protect our homes, renew our pow’rs,
And guard us as we sleep.

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Lesson

 

*Special for Newlyweds* (Looking for a lesson for your family? Check out our database of lessons here!)

Begin by taking turns to read the following quotes. 

“Love is a fragile thing, and some elements in life can try to  break it. Much damage can be done if we are not in tender, caring hands.” -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

“Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion, that makes weakness and mistakes seem small, to make your companions you your own, to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.” – President Henry B. Eyring

“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because have you made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” -Elder F. Burton Howard.

“When we seek to ‘complete’ rather than ‘compete,’ it is so much easier to cheer each other on!” -Sister Linda K.  Burton

“True love is not so much a matter of romance, as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of one’s companion.” – President Gordon B. Hinckley

Discuss which ones you liked the best and why. Then take turns to read the following paragraphs out loud: 

In the world today, there are many figurative storms that can destroy and damage our spirits. From small rain showers to torrential hurricanes, we all face struggles, trials, weaknesses, and sin. Family life, and especially the relationship between husband and wife, is designed by a loving Heavenly Father to offer us safety from these storms.

Because Satan understands how important marriage and the family is to the Plan of Happiness, he constantly seeks ways to tear it down. One of the ways in which he does this is by turning spouses against each other and introducing contention into the home.

Contention and misunderstanding is often brought about by a lack of righteous and spirit-filled communication.

Study the table below. Use the following instructions to read the table: 

Healthy Relationship Chart

This is a table that shows the building blocks of a healthy relationship. At the bottom, we have risk and vulnerability. As one spouse risks sharing their personal feelings or thoughts with a spouse, they are introducing vulnerability. In a healthy relationship, the other spouse appreciates the vulnerability, accepts the risk in a manner that makes their spouse feel safe and validated, then does the same. As this cycle continues, you move along the bottom line of the triangle, from 0% to 100%.

When this happens, honesty and commitment become the foundation for your relationship. Trust is built. Notice the small dotted triangle. As you get closer to 100%, that line moves, making the triangle bigger and bigger. Emotional intimacy and joy increase. In courtship, this leads to nonsexual affection, such as holding hands, placing a hand on someones back, hugging, etc. In marriage, the hope is to grow so much that you are completely safe in romantic intimacy and use sexual intercourse as an expression of the entire triangle, which represents the honesty, commitment, trust, and love you experience with one another. However, you need to build the foundation of risk and vulnerability, honesty and commitment to each other, in order for this to happen.

Take turns asking your partner the following questions: 

  • What part of this triangle do you feel we do well on?
  • Is there anything you feel hesitant to talk to me about? How can I make you feel safer to share that thing?
  • What is something we are always honest about?
  • How can we improve?

Finish the lesson by expressing gratitude for your spouse and bearing your testimony to one another. 

 

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Sweet and Spicy Chicken Bacon Bites or Lava Cakes

Gourmet Cooking for TwoSweet and Spicy Chicken Bacon Bites

Ingredients:

-1/2 lb. boneless and skinless chicken breasts
-1/3 lb. sliced bacon
-1/3 cup brown sugar
-1 tbsp. chili powder

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

2. Cut the chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. Cut each bacon slice into thirds. Wrap each chicken cube with bacon and secure with toothpick.

3. In a small bowl, stir together the brown sugar and chili powder. Dredge the wrapped chicken in the brown sugar mixture.

4. Coat a rack and broiler pan with non-stick cooking spray. Place the chicken wrap on rack in broiler pan.

5. Bake 350 for 30-25 minutes or until the bacon is crisp.

(Courtesy of Gourmet Cooking for Two)


Lava CakesLava Cakes

Ingredients:
-2 oz. unsweetened chocolate
-1/4 cup butter
-1/2 cup powdered sugar
-1 egg
-1 egg yolk
-2 tbsp. corn starch
-whipped cream for topping

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

2. Butter 2 custard cups and place them on a baking sheet.

3. Microwave the chocolate and butter in large microwaveable bowl for 3 minutes at 50% power. If you use full power, your chocolate will burn. Stir with a wire whisk until the chocolate is completely melted.

4. Let it cool slightly, then stir in the sugar until well blended. Whisk in the egg and egg yolk. Stir in the corn starch.

5. Divide the batter between the two custard cups.

6. Bake for 12 minutes. Serve warm, topped with whipped cream.

Enjoy!

(Courtesy of Gourmet Cooking for Two)

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Activity

 

Here is a list of activities you and your spouse can do together:

  • Go out on a date night!
  • Write letters to missionaries or family members
  • Take a treat to a neighbor or someone in need
  • Teach your spouse one of your skills
  • Watch a movie together
  • If a temple is nearby, go on a walk on the temple grounds
  • Complete a craft or project to improve your home

Comments

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About Aleah Ingram

Aleah Ingram
Aleah is a graduate of Southern Virginia University, where she studied English, Creative Writing, and Dance. She now works full time as a social media manager, writer, and editor. Aleah served a mission in California and is addicted to organic milk, Lang Leav poetry, Gaynor Minden pointe shoes, and Bollywood movies.
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