Latter-day Saint Designer Comes Up With Hilarious New Church Pews

Latter-day Saint Designer Comes Up With Hilarious New Church Pews

A Latter-day Saint designer is getting love online for his hilarious re-design of the pews found in Latter-day Saint chapels. The post on Instagram features multiple additions anyone will get a chuckle at.

“The idea for the post actually did come while I was in sacrament meeting,” Ryan Moore told us. “I noticed that the supporting column of the pew would be the perfect location for a central vacuum port to suck up the crumbs nearby. The idea made me laugh, so I made a mental list of other ‘features’ I would like to see in a church pew to make that hour and ten minutes a bit more manageable. As a father of three with a very active three-year-old boy, it can be a struggle. I probably didn’t get as much out of that particular sacrament meeting as I should have.”

The pews Moore designed feature:

  1. Central vacuum system for inevitable post-church meeting Cheerio dust.
  2. Bumpers to “bounce” toys…and children that roll under the bench back to the front.
  3. Restraints for wandering 2 to 4-year-olds.
  4. A spring-loaded shield that activates to protect your family from a child in another pew spontaneously chucking a sippy cup.
  5. USB charging ports, because, duh.
  6. A family nameplate, because we all have our own favorite pew, might as well make it official.
  7. A place to rest your head on the pew in front of you to help you “focus more.” Just be careful if #4 activates while your “focusing”. 8. And finally, a Cheerios (or other distracting food) dispenser.

“Over the years, I’ve enjoyed writing humorous posts on Facebook and more recently on my public channel on Instagram (@realmooryan),” said Moore. “Combining my love of design from my education at BYU, I decided to make a very serious looking drawing to outline my features wish list as a visual for the post. Once published, I had a friend ask me to make the post public so he could share it and it has taken off from there.”


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